That Damn Puppet
by SconesAndPasta
Summary: John has had enough of Lil' Cal so he creates a plot to get rid of him, but there may be more to the puppet then he realizes. DaveJohn maybe some DirkJake not sure yet.


**A/N: Hey guys, so I came up with this after 24 hours not sleeping and in my Lil' Cal cosplay. Anyways it's been forever since I have written anything so please excuse my grammar problems. Okay thanks! By the way I do not own Homestuck. That MiRaClE belongs to Andrew Hussie.**

**That Damned Puppet!**

**Chapter 1**

Hello, my name is John Egbert and I am officially fed up with the puppet Lil' Cal. As much as I love Dave and I adore his brother Dirk; I cannot stand the way they idolize that puppet. It's gotten so bad that I don't even want to go to their apartment anymore. I mean it's not that I have anything against puppets but that thing is just so damn creepy. Every time I come over Dirk brings Lil' Cal up to my face making him talk it's fucking scary.

The thing is, I know for a fact that Dave is terrified of the thing, of course he would never admit it, and every time I bring it up he gets all defensive and talks about how 'cool' Lil' Cal is and how he is a 'real bro.' This is all a lie of course and I know this because Dave will not let him sleep in his room, and acts all jumpy when he is out of sight.

Dirk on the other hand acts like the thing is actually alive. I've even heard him carry on a conversation with the thing. It was so weird, I asked Dave where they got it and he said that it has always been there. Then Dirk showed up out of nowhere and lectured me about not calling Lil' Cal an it.

I've hated the thing for a while now, but the last straw was when Dave and I were getting intimate. Dave's glasses where thrown off, giving me a full view of his intense and piercing red eyes. His hands crept up my shirt and began to play with my nipples. I moaned into his touch and he took my shirt off. He began to attack my neck and I tugged at his shirt until he pulled it over his head.

My hands roamed over his chest, he was so toned and lean. Our lips met and we fought for dominance, of course lost when he cupped my member over my jeans. I arched up and started panting, he smirked against my lips and it wasn't long until we both had our pants off and were grinding against each other.

He kissed his way down my body stopping once in a while to suck and nip, making large and dark hickies all over me. He finally got down to my erection giving it a long lick from base to tip. "John, what do you want?" he locked eyes with me smirking. "Dave, please…Just…ah." He licked the tip. "Just what?" I groaned as he nipped at my thigh. "Please, suck me, fuck me, do anything! Just stop teasing me!" Dave chuckled and took my head into his mouth slowly bobbing his head.

My head shot back and a loud moan escaped my lips. He swallowed my member and started bobbing his head faster. I was so close to finishing when I opened my eyes a tiny bit and there was that damn puppet, just sitting on the edge of the bed staring at me. "Oh hell no!" I pushed Dave off me and pulled on my shirt and boxers. "John, what's going on, did I do something wrong?" Dave asked confusedly.

"It's not you, it's THAT!" I said pointing to Lil' Cal who just sat there acting like he wasn't just watching Dave and I go at it. "It's just a puppet Egderp." Dave stifled a laugh. "I just don't like it and I don't want it here, especially when we are doing stuff." I pouted as he grabbed me by my hips and kissed me. "Fine, I'll go toss him into dirks room okay?" "Thanks Dave." "No problem."

Dave grabbed Lil' Cal and left, coming back a minute later. "So can we get back to where we left off?" He asked while undressing me. I smiled and pulled him into a kiss. The next morning I awoke naked under Dave's sheet with him spooning against my back. I smiled and opened my eyes. There right in front of my face was that motherfucking puppet. That is it! Lil' Cal, you are going down.

**Well that is the first chapter, I appreciate comments so you should do that :3 Okay bye for now.**


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